INSECURE

We all probably have that one role on our belly, that height, the skin condition or nose that we feel insecure about. I know that I have had many different insecurities about my looks and started obsessing over my body and weight loss. I've felt insecure about talking in serious settings because I always felt like people wouldn't take me seriously due to me loud, bubbly (and often goofy) personality. I would often feel inferior to other women of God because of my thin, tiny voice that I didn't feel was as powerful as others when they prayed and spoke. What that caused me was that I was constantly counting my calories, weighing my food and stepped on the scale several times a day. I used to love the feeling of hunger more than being full and never felt fit and slim enough. It caused me to decline several invitations to Conferences and meetings because I didn't feel confident and qualified enough to speak in these places.


The reality is that as women we have many very real and serious insecurities that I don't want to sugarcoat or overspiritualies. I always want to keep it real here on Ashley En Vogue. We've all woken up before and simply didn't like our reflection in the mirror. There are just these days. But how are we supposed to be these strong, confident and bold women as Christians?  We're expected to be strong without being masculine. Confident without being arrogant and bold without losing our kindness. Confidence can be a wage word considering the fact that there's a thin line between confidence and haughtiness as well as self love and selfishness.

This means that self-confidence must come from God for us to know that it's pure and holy. As believers we can only believe in ourselves out of believing in God first for if we don't believe in God how can we ever hope to believe in ourself?

The more I grew in my relationship with God, the more I've been able to let go of all the self-doubt. God helped me to become secure with myself as I discovered my confidence in Him once I started seeing myself through His eyes. He made me powerful, strong, beautiful and perfect just as I am. I was made in His image and likeness. Every curve and edge was deliberate formed by God and He predestined the souls that would come to deliverance under the sound of my tiny, thin, little voice. Our confidence comes from the Lord. He points us to the true image of ourselves when we look to Him for our self-assurance. So here are 4 ways God gives us confidence as His daughters.

1.) He reassures us through His word

Psalm 139:14 I'm sure every Churchgirl loves this scripture because as women we just need to hear these words at times. "You're beautiful"

As women we thrive on words. We love to hear compliments and approval from our loved ones. That's why we can fall in love with a guy just by talking to him on the phone for a week as long as he keeps the sweet talk coming. We love the "good morning, baby girl-texts" and the "hey, beautiful-messages." They just make us feel some kind of way. The same way we remember the words people spoke over us that hurt us and might have even become one of the reasons our self image got blurred in the first place the same way positive and uplifting words ring in our hearts like sweet melodies from heaven.

Words matter so much to us and God gave us His word to equip us, instruct us, teach us but also to reassure us. To reassure us of His love for us and to help us see ourselves through His eyes. A million men in this world could tell you that you're beautiful but the only One from whose mouth it should matter is God's.

Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life.
Isaiah 43:4 NKJV

Everyone who is called by My name, Whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes, I have made him.”
Isaiah 43:7 NKJV

2.) He gave us power over our minds and thoughts

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,
II Corinthians 10:4‭-‬5 NKJV

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal. We can pull down every thought that contradicts God's word by prayer. When these thoughts pop up we don't just have to agree with them, we have the right to rebuke them and oppose them in the name of Jesus.

Things like suicidal thoughts (if you have them please seek help) and destrawed self images often lead us to points of self-harm and sicknesses like anorexia or bulimia. These things are not to be played with and usually start with a simple thought. When we learn to take charge over our thoughts these strongholds have it difficult to take a hold of us and must leave by the Authority given to us by Jesus!

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus...
Philippians 2:5 NKJV


Our minds are like battlefields and God has given us the right armor to guard and protect our minds. Putting on the helmet of Salvation simply means that by being saved we can avoid evil thoughts and understanding what is good and true.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
Ephesians 6:17 NKJV

3.) He shifts our focus to true beauty

What we can find when we read through the Bible is that the beauty of women was usually mentioned in a subordinate clause. This tells us that in the story of their lives and God using them for His Glory their beauty is a secondary matter, a minor point or let's just say: not important. The appearance of the women in the Bible aren't described in detail because they simply don't matter.

The Bible says that women of old made themselves beautiful by accepting their husband's authority. By clothing themselves modestly and by having a quiet and a gentle spirit.

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
I Peter 3:3‭-‬5 NKJV

The word 'merely' means not only. Outward beauty isn't the only thing that you should have. There is a kind of beauty that comes from the Spirit of God inside of us. The hair, the makeup and the outfits should just be the cherry on top to what we already have been given from God. There's a certain beauty that comes from devotion to God. We can get sweet lips by using kind words, beautiful hands by giving to the needy and lovely feed by spreading the gospel. There is no amount of makeup that can cover a ugly heart and God cares about the heart.

For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
I Samuel 16:7 NKJV

4.) He allows us to put our confidence in Him rather than in ourselves

“But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
Jeremiah 17:7 NLT


Our confidence is in God and in knowing and believing that we are who He says we are.

This can seem like a cliche statement and I know that it doesn't seem comforting when we're really going through it on our worst days but this is the truth. When you know who you are in Him and who's you are by His grace, it makes you confident without being arrogant. So whenever we don't have any ounce of confidence left, whenever we feel like we're not good enough, skinny enough, smart enough or just simply enough, we can tell ourselves that that's true but that the One who is more than enough lives in us and that makes us enough.


We can give our weaknesses and insecurities to God and He fills the void.
Society has drawn a very vivid picture of what we are suppose to look and be like. This makes it so hard to be bold, confident women everyday.
But I can tell you that it's about becoming the confident woman God created you to be by allowing God to work on you. By being open and transparent about them, lifting them up in prayer and by letting God renew your mind daily until you become her.

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Psalms 139:13‭-‬14