LET'S TALK ABOUT MODESTY!

So, guys! Let's talk about Modesty." Buuuhh" I know right? I never liked to talk about modesty, the main reason being that I knew I wasn't exactly someone who could be considered a modest person.

You know how we all have areas in our lives that we welcome the Holy Spirit into. Lord, come into my heart, come into my family, come into my finances, come into my studies...oh yeah, but come into my closet? I don't think so.

"You can have everything God but not my sense of fashion. Because if I'm gonna serve you I'm going to do it in style. After all, I didn't choose the Church life, the church life chose me...so why should I have to suffer." Seriously this was my whole take on this.

When God first revealed my purpose to me, I wasn't really feeling it too much. I had a pretty clear picture of who I wanted to be (a bad b***) and it involved God in some way, but definitely not the way everything revolves around Him right now.

Other than just feeling unqualified, unworthy and inadequate for the purpose God revealed to me, my biggest fear was that God would change me so much that I wouldn't be me anymore. Makeup, weave, nails, clothes, and bags made me feel feminine. When I first brought this fear before the Lord He said: "I'm not that petty, I'm not going to change your favorite color. I'm going to use everything you are for my glory."

And He kept His word because everything I do for God has His name all over it but also mine. The pink, the details, the humor is all 100% me. I understand now that I didn't lose myself but rather found myself in Him.





I probably told that story before but when I started this blog I wanted it to be a plus size fashion blog. But then I lost a bunch of weight and I wasn't the big girl anymore. God literally stripped weight off of me to show me who I am in Him because when that "big girl facade" faded, I had to rethink me.

In order to get closer to Him and walk this walk, I had to give up a lot of things...I gave up bad TV, I gave up bad music, some bad habits, and bad friends but my style wasn't on that list.

But can I just brag about my God for a second here and how He gradually changed me? When I look back at the process of losing weight now I see how He guided me and how He did it with so much grace and mercy.

I was really proud of myself and how hard I worked in the gym, so I would post my workout progress on my Instagram all the time and presented my body until God convincted me of it.

I also loved my skin-tight bodycon dresses and showed them off every Sunday on Instagram until the Lord convicted me of that too.

Understand this...there's nothing wrong with showing your progress in the gym on Instagram, neither is there anything wrong with bodycon dresses or wanting to be stylish but let me tell you two things that were wrong with my style:

1. My motives

I wasn't comfortable wearing a loose dress. Everything HAD to be figure-hugging or else, I wouldn't wear it. It just didn't make sense to me to kill myself in the gym 6 days a week and then cover it up with a loose dress...sorry not sorry. So my motive was to show off my body to make sure everyone and myself sees that I worked hard in the gym. This should not be the motive of a woman of God. When we dress and get ready we should not have our own egos or other people in mind (except your husband) but we should dress knowing that we are daughters of the King and we represent Him here on earth. It shouldn't be about making many heads turn but hearts turn to God when people come across you and them being able to see Jesus in you.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
I Samuel 16:7 NKJV

2. A stumbling block to others

What God helped me to understand was that if I want to be a role model and call myself this woman of God and be so loud about my beliefs it comes with a certain amount of responsibility. My bodycon dresses couldn't take me to hell but what if they became a stumbling block for another believer. Another Brother or Sister may look at me and be led into temptation and sin because of the way I dress.

Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil;
Romans 14:14‭

It's not dressing like a slut that makes us immodest, it's the posture of our hearts as we dress. I never wore anything that was too revealing but it was very sexy and if I want to be respected as the woman of God I claimed to be, it had to be seen in the way I carried myself.
It's not like you'll never see me in a bodycon dress ever again (and don't come for me when you see me in one). But what changed is my heart, my motives, and my intentions when I wear them. This is true modesty.

When it comes to modesty; its always a bit of a tricky topic because what works for one woman may not work for the other. We were all built with beautiful, different shapes and figures that's why there's no general manual that would work for everyone. But one thing we all have is the precious Holy Spirit, who is willing to lead us into all truth and teach us how to be modest, beautiful and stylish women of God.

Let us pray and ask God to come into our closets to reveal the motives of our hearts and help us never to become a stumbling block for other believers.

in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing,  but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

1. Timothy 2:9-10