For the past two weeks, we have been discussing our relationships to our parents in my Ladies Bible study group and in my circle of friends it just happened to come up a lot as well. So, I knew I definitely wanted to write a post about this topic especially about the relationships to our Fathers because I believe that the relationship we have to our Fathers or the lack thereof leaves its mark on us daily.
One thing God told me with full clarity when I prayed about this post is that it doesn't have to be a long one, it doesn't have to have a certain amount of points but it's supposed to be authentic. So I have to be honest about my own relationship with my Father. Which is something I usually would have never done.
I lost my Father when I was only four years old. So, I never really knew what it's like to have a Father. For many years I asked myself what my life would have looked like if he was still here. I asked myself why it had to happen to my mum and my sisters. What kind of God would take the Father of 4 Children out of life just like that? Before he could see me on my first day of school, before he could tell me, I'm beautiful when I thought I wasn't. Before he could walk me down the aisle; before He could see my Children and give me his blessing. And that blessing part is something I think I desired most. Because I understood very early the blessing and covering of a Father and I felt like I never had that.
And the reason I'm writing this post about the love of God the Father is that I have experienced it first hand. God has delivered me from these questions I asked myself and He didn't do it by answering every single one of them but by loving me. He loved me more than seven biological Fathers could have loved me. He provided far more for me than an earthly father could have ever given to me. He delivered my soul out of bondage. He freed my mind from confusion. He helped me to understand the love He has for me through His Spirit and made me His daughter by adopting me into His Family. Out of that sad four-year-old girl, He formed a woman of God. And I want that same love I have experienced to come upon any broken Woman as well. Every Woman that is still fighting that little girl inside of her. And I want the love of God to fill every void a Father couldn't fill.
God may not answer every question you have. Why He allowed certain things to happen to you, in your home or by your parents but I know that He can set you free from the brokenness it left.
One thing I have seen about God is that He doesn't give His love in pieces. I always say this: God loves you more than your crazy ex-boyfriend. He may stalk you, appear at your workplace or give you 28 missed calls in less than 2 minutes, but even all this can't compare to the love the Father has for you. The love of God for His Children is a mystery. It is selfless, it is sacrificing, it's irrational and undeserving. That's why God's love has to come first. It has to set the foundation for every other earthly relationship we have. And when we are not rooted in His love for us, we will never overcome the emotional damage we experienced as Children.
So what is our response to this love that we have received from our Father in heaven? First of all, we have to accept it. That sometimes is the hardest part. No matter what your earthly parents did for you or to you, accept the love of your heavenly Father and rest in it. Place all your hope all your expectations in Him knowing that because you are His daughter He will never leave you nor forsake you.
It is a fact that the first love of every girl on earth is her Father and when that first love doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to, it leaves that little girl inside of us broken, confused and insecure.
Parents just play such a big role as to who we become later on. A lot of the things we struggle with in life are a result of our Childhood or teenage years and the experiences we made during that time.
There are Fathers who promise and don't stick to their words. Fathers who don't provide. Fathers who misuse their power and authority and abuse women. Fathers who don't know how to show love and then there are Fathers who are simply absent.
And what I want to encourage you to do with this post is to forgive your parents. Because this is very the healing is. This is how you'll step from that broken girl into the woman of God you are.
You are not what happened to you. And it didn't happen to break you but to make you. You are not that little, helpless girl or teenager but you are a daughter of the King.
The bible tells us to honor thy Mother and thy Father that it may be well with you and that you may live long (Exodus 20:12). Give them the honor they deserve. The simple fact that God trusted them to be your parents in this life means that you ought to give them honor. For some, it may be hard but this is what we have to do as daughters of God. Forgive, release pain and disappointment and honor them.
After a lot of conversations, tears and worship in my Ladies Bible study group, we come to the conclusion that as daughters of God that we didn't get to decide what household we were born into or who our parents and siblings were going to be but we do have the power to decide the kind of parents we want to be to our children and the first loves we are going to give to our daughters in the future.
I know I say this at least once a week but the guys we entertain today could become the fathers of our Children tomorrow and we should make sure that these men live by the principals of our heavenly Father. We can't settle for anything less if we want to ensure that our daughters will one day rise to become the whole, God-fearing women God has predestined for them to be.
Decide as a woman of God who the Father of your future Children will be and that they will represent the love of God in your home. As the daughter of a King, that man is going to marry into a Kingdom and he has to fulfill the things that are required of him to marry into a royal Home.
Ensure that he will love you as Christ loves the Church and your Children like God loves His Children to stop generational curses. The choice from now on is yours.
For the Spirit that God has given you does not make you slaves and cause you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit makes you God's children, and by the Spirit's power we cry out to God, "Father! my Father!"
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