UNSURRENDERABLE

Yup, I just made that title up to get my point across, 'cause I need to discuss this thing with you guys.

So, I have this grey, super cool rolling stones t-shirt, right. And it is...how do I say this? It's old. Super old. I've probably had it since 2007. So, yeah, it's old, with a bunch of holes and my belly button shows when I wear it and it's not supposed to because it's not a crop top.

Anywho. Even though I've had this T-shirt for over ten years I like it. So no matter how often my mum tries to throw it away behind my back (I know you're reading this mum and I know your plans) and no matter how often I'll clean out my closet, this one will be a keeper. 

It's not like I'm wearing this T-shirt. No, not even to bed. But for some reason, I just can not let go of it 

And why am I telling you all of this? Because as ridiculous as this whole scenario sounds I am sure a lot of you can relate. There are just some things in life we can't seem to let go off. No matter how good the worship is in Church, no matter how convicting the message was and no matter how saved we claim to be. There are just some things we carry with us to Church week after week without surrendering them.

So we sing along: " I surrender all to you...everything I give to you...withholding nothing..I give you all of me...lalalala. Knowing good and well we're withholding something.

We can't let go of our dysfunctional relationships; can't let go of what they did to us and we definitely can't surrender our future to God. At least not completely. So we keep holding onto things that don't even have a grip anymore to hold onto.

The same way my ratchet T-shirt obsession is crazy to my mum; God must feel when He sees His Children holding unto things that are worth nothing compared to what He has in store for us.

The most dangerous thing about not fully surrendering is that you can live a pretty productive, Christian life on the surface. I can dress up clean and pretty every day and no one will know that I have this raggedy old t shirt in my closet. This is how it was with Moses. 

God used Moses, Moses heard from God and Moses did incredible things for the Children of Israel through the power of God. God even trusted Moses with the ten commandments. But Moses never surrendered his anger issue to God and that became his stumbling block. Same goes with Samson and King Solomon. They prospered for some time but they never surrendered their problem with women and lust. So God can use us and we will even prosper but we will never get the full potential of what God wants to do in our lives if we don't have a surrendered heart.

One of the reasons we don't see progress in our Christian life is a result of our struggle to fully surrender. We carry all these things with us that are slowing us down, weighing us down and holding us back on our race with Christ. That's why we see Christians in church their whole life, even in ministry not progressing because they carry things with them they are not capable to carry. 

We need to develop a lifestyle of surrender. Learning to let go. Not just saying it but truly living out what it means to have a surrendered heart to God.

It will mean depending on Him fully. It will mean letting go of some things and some people completely but it will be worth it. 

What I like to do is pray and tell God all the things that are annoying me, everything and everyone who's upsetting me and all that concerns me. And Gods usual response is: "Surrender it to me." And then I tell Him all the reasons why I can't surrender. And the cycle goes on and on and on.

 Distrust, Dishonesty and Fear

These are the three things that are holding us back from truly surrendering. 

Not fully surrendering is a sign of not trusting God. It's saying: " If I'm going to let go of what I am so desperately holding unto, can I trust God to give me something better. Can I trust Him to fill that void?" And this is where Faith comes in. There is a reason the Bible calls us to walk by Faith and not by sight. What God has for us has to be better than what we're holding unto. It has to be worth all this mess and pain but the problem is we can't see it now. 

When a seed is buried there will be a time you won't see it. Yet you keep nourishing and watering the soil because you trust that there will be fruit from that seed one day. Trusting God is hard at times But this is what a surrendered heart is all about. How can we possibly call ourselves His own if we don't trust Him?

Problem is, we're not honest with ourselves or with God. That's why we go back. Sometimes I think I've surrendered something to God and the next moment I find myself worrying about it again. That's not true surrender. We surrender our finances to God in one moment and then decide to order a bunch of stuff we don't really need online. (Story of my life) One moment we surrender the dysfunctional relationship and the next second we text the guy. 

If you sincerely and honestly surrender something to God you wouldn't go back to your vomit. If you surrender something one day and ask back for it the next day you never truly surrendered it to God in the first place. 

We can never truly become who God has called us to be, never walk in the promise and never find our true, God-given identity unless we surrender. As Christians, we are called to live a life of surrendering to God. 

The word surrender is used in terms of war. And the way life works these days it feels like a constant battlefield. Everything is a challenge. Our relationships, our education, our jobs, our families...But the reality is were fighting a losing battle if we fight it out of our own strength. Jesus already won the victory for us so we don't really have any other option but to surrender.

These three things I have listed that are holding us from surrendering, need to be cast out before we can truly surrender. We need to live by faith and we need to walk in truth and sincerity. God has not given us a spirit of fear but of love and of power and of a sound mind. God has called me to surrender in this season of my life and I haven't been obedient to that call. I have had so many excuses not to surrender. But there are consequences for not surrendering. I am tired of fighting a battle I can not win with my fleshly weapons so I decide to surrender today. And if this is you pray this prayer with me:

God, today I surrender everything. 

Everything that is coming between us. 

Everything that's destroying me on the inside, I give to you. 

Lord, give me the strength to surrender my heart, my will, my mind, my life to you now and forevermore. 

I trust that if I let go; you will give me better things. 

I command everything that is holding onto me that is not of God to release me. 

I come against fear in the Name of Jesus and I declare that I am free.

In Jesus Name Amen.

Surrender your heart to God,    turn to him in prayer, and give up your sins—

    even those you do in secret. Then you won’t be ashamed;

you will be confident

    and fearless.

 Job 11:13-15