GRATITUDE IS AN ATTITUDE

 

Hey, Soul sisters! How has your heart been lately? I know that's a bit of a deep and maybe even a bit of a weird question compared to the ordinary "how you doin'?" but it's a necessary one for all of us. Once in a while, I like to do a heart check and let God examine me to see if there's any iniquity in me. Well, actually God likes to do a heart check and point out things in me that He dislikes to stretch me and grow me. It's not the most comfortable and glamorous part of Christianity but it's necessary. 

It's kind of like a decluttering of trash and garbage just not in my physical home but in my heart that is supposed to be a Temple, a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit.

At times we have to ask ourselves if our bodies are a place where we would like to live ourselves. A little clutter here, a little dirt there. A bit of bitterness here and a few pieces of grudges there and the Holy Ghost is supposed to be right in the middle of all that mess inside of us.

Many of us claim that God lives in our hearts but so do fear, hate, jealousy and all manner of things that defile our hearts that God commands us to guard and protect. For the past few weeks, God has been chastening me for being ungrateful. I know, right! Ashley? Ungrateful? That's exactly what I thought but let me tell you the entire story.

Since my wedding, I've been hurt, frustrated and sad about all the people who didn't show up, all the people who showed up with an attitude and all the things that just didn't go the way we wanted them to. I've been caught up with all that's been going wrong that I couldn't be thankful for all the things that actually did go right. I've been hurt by so many people that I failed to properly appreciate the ones that have been there for us, went out of their way to celebrate with us, pray with us and encourage us along the way. Not to forget about the fact that I've been praying to God for a Godly husband and a marriage that will honour Him basically all my life and there I was, not even half as excited and thankful as I should have been considering the fact that I'm living in my answered prayers.

For weeks and weeks of my pity party, God's been pointing it out to me and has warned me about becoming ungrateful and about the attitude in my heart and also my speech. And as much as I've tried to overlook and overhear Him for the longest time, here I am convicted and surrendered, willing to change by writing this Blog Post.

One of the most dangerous things when it comes to matters of our hearts is that we somehow feel entitled to our negative thoughts and feelings. People hurt us so we feel like we're allowed to be angry. Things don't work out for us so we tell ourselves that we're allowed to be disappointed. And when life happens we're convinced that it's okay to be upset. But God warns us to let no root of bitterness grow in us. By this kind of entitlement we give the enemy access to our hearts and minds and gradually drift away from being women after God's own hearts and becoming women after our own hearts, feelings and emotions. 

The truth of the matter is this: Gratitude is an attitude that God delights Himself in. So as Christian women we should have a heart of Gratitude. I'm not going to lie; it can be hard at times but is something that must be cultivated daily. So here are six tips for being a grateful woman after God's own heart.

1.) Be intentional

As I said, Gratitude is an attitude and it takes us to be very intentional to be thankful people in this day and age. We have to make deliberate and very intentional decisions daily to maintain a grateful heart by simply making the choice and refusing to be an ungrateful women. As much as it's important to know who you are, I'm a firm believer that it's just as important to know who you're not. Whenever my thoughts and words don't add up to who I am supposed to be based on the word of God I must bring this attitude under captivity to the obedience of Christ and religiously repeat to myself: I'm not a selfish woman, I'm not a jealous woman, I'm not a bitter woman, I'm not an ungrateful woman! Until my very innermost being understands it.

Be very, very mindful of your thoughts because they become your words and your words become your character. Speak over yourself and declare who you are in Christ and especially who you refuse to ever be.

Tip: I have pep talks with myself all the time and tell myself the things I'm not whenever the lies of the enemy try to creep into my heart one of them being: "You're not an ungrateful woman"

That usually fixes my attitude real quick and reminds me of who God called me to be.

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

II Corinthians 10:4‭-‬5 NKJV

2.) Guard your heart

They say comparison is the thief of joy and it's true. Most of the reason why we become unappreciative of what we have and where we are in life comes from a result of not guarding our hearts. Society is set up in a way that we're always confronted with people's highlights of their lives and accomplishments which leave us feeling unaccomplished and not good enough.

We must watch out for what we look at, who we listen to and what we allow into our hearts and our spirits. 

Tip: Make the practical step to unfollow and disconnect yourself from anything and anyone that causes you discontentedness. If you've been struggling with comparison take a fast from social media, shows and other environments that trigger jealousy in you.

Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.

Proverbs 4:23 NKJV

3.) Recall the goodness of God

The people of Israel had to constantly be reminded of God's faithfulness back in Egypt on their way to the promised land. Remembering how God has saved, delivered and helped them before, was a great motivation to keep them going when they felt like giving up and started complaining. 

It's so easy to focus on the bad. All the things that aren't working at your job, all the things you haven't yet achieved at this point of your life and all the disappointments you've endured. But what if you instead meditate on the good things instead of on the bad? And even if you believe that there's just nothing good in the now what about the past? There is no way that God has not done something for you before that you can't be thankful for now. 

Tip: There's power in imagination. One thing that helps me a lot is to get out of an overwhelming moment by zooming out and daydreaming. I just think about good times, a season that I am grateful for and relive it. It helps me to reflect on God's goodness in another season in my life and makes me hopeful that the God who was with me then is with me now.

I will remember the works of the Lord; Surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, And talk of Your deeds.

Psalms 77:11‭-‬12 NKJV

4.) Count your blessings, name them one by one

I know it's cliché but it actually works. Do you know that waking up in the morning is a blessing? Having a roof over your head is a blessing? Breath in your lungs is a blessing? Food on your table is a blessing? We don't even have to go to material things when we talk about the blessing of the Lord. Life itself is a blessing that we should never take for granted. 

I'd never want to be the kind of person that has to face death before I'm able to appreciate life or lose it all before appreciating all I have. Look around you and try to find the goodness of God in the mundane, in nature, in health and in your spiritual life. And if all these things aren't a good enough reason to be grateful to God, thank Him for giving His Son for you on the cross.

Tip: Write a letter to God and try not to ask for anything. Just list a number of things you're thankful for and stick it into the pages of your Bible. Read it whenever you feel discouraged and discontent.

Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalms 103:1‭-‬5 NKJV

5.) Read Psalms of Thanksgiving out loud

Last but not least the very thing that will always keep you grateful is prayer. And when you have no words to say just read one of the Psalmist's prayers of Thanksgiving to God. Prayer turns away from your problems, concerns and worries and focuses your heart, mind and your Spirit on God. He is so good, so kind and so full of love that all you can do after spending time talking to Him is to be grateful. Not necessarily for all that you have, where you are and what you have accomplished but simply for who He is!

Tip: Pray and thank God first thing in the morning for waking you up before doing anything else. That will set the tone for your day and keep you grateful. 

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, And to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning, And Your faithfulness every night,

Psalms 92:1‭-‬2 NKJV